Wednesday, 26 October 2005

Noodle in a haystack

One should not, of course, hide one's trumpet under a bushell. Searching the Amazon webspots reveals that my 'flagship' book 'Legends of King Arthur Through the Ages' is now available from, and Amazon Japan, to name but a few.
I can't unfortunately tell if it's in stock in Amazon China, or (isn't joyo Welsh for having fun?) as it's branded, simply because I can't understand erm, anything on the site.
How refreshing.

Wednesday, 12 October 2005

Cofiwch Dryweryn

The BBC today carries news that Liverpool Council may be about to apologise for the drowning of a Welsh valley. The valley, home to the Welsh-speaking community of Capel Celyn, was flooded in 1965 to create a reservoir to supply Liverpool with water.
The full sorry story can be read here, but there is a truism about a picture telling a thousand words which may be experienced here.

Monday, 3 October 2005

Sex on a bike

Which reminds me...
Nasa scientists have found that 10 minutes of pogoing on a trampoline a day is the most efficient form of exercise available to man. (or something similar)
I am often to be found (god help me) reliving my youth on my 'rebounder' to the tunes of a lost generation. My knees, however, have not forgiven me since I mistakenly enjoyed a session to the strains of the Clash's 'greatest hits'.
It's an exercise regime I recommend to all aging punks, with one caveat; be careful with 'White Riot', it still packs a punch.

Sham what, vicar?

Not quite sure what ALL THE FUSS WAS ABOUT, myself. So Tony 'dangerous' Blair chose Sham 69's 'Kids are United' as his walk-on music in the labour party conference. No doubt a nice dig at Gordon and co, and a very pleasant hi-energy powerpop song too, but Butlins have been running punk weekends for years now. Fifty year-old lead singer Jimmy Pursey was quoted...
Given the recent internal squabbles in the labour party leadership stakes maybe Wayne County and the Electric Chairs classic '(If you don't want to f*** me) f*** off' might have been a better choice.
Now that would have got my vote.

Friday, 12 August 2005

weekend gloating blog

It may not mean much to you, but then this isn't your blog. Hahaha.
Oh sorry, don't go. Didn't mean to offend you. Friends?
Anyway, (if you're still reading) I am at last appearing at as a bona fide author. So it must be true.
Not, or any of their other sites, you understand. Just the granddaddy of the .com booksellers, not his offspring. Early days though, early days.
What am I going on about, is one possible response. Well, friend, my latest book (together with Lady Charlotte Guest and Sir James Knowles by the by) 'Legends of King Arthur Through the Ages' is available to buy at that very outslot.
If you drift my get.
Lovely cover too.

Wednesday, 10 August 2005

pudding and pie

Paul McKenna's TV show is, of course, a bonfire of delights. I can't help wondering if he could 'help' ex-hero and football legend George Best though, whose life seems to get grimmer with every passing tabloid.
Now that would be one interesting TV show...

Friday, 29 July 2005

King Edward

Ah, the wonders of the potato. You can boil it, bake it, chip it, fry it, mash it; and yet it is not seen anywhere in the UK government's 5-a-day campaingn.
Is it not a vegetable? Does it not bleed if it is pricketht? (Eh?)
How unlike the US's own 5-9 a day (yes, they always go one better in the Land of the Free) campaign, where the potato takes its rightful place amongst the white fruit and veg in the 'colors of health'.
According to the UK website potatoes (as well as yams and cassava) are not included since they are 'starchy foods'. No yams either? Oh come on guys.

Friday, 15 July 2005

very sleeeeepy...

I've always wondered what it would be like to be hypnotized. I guess it depends on who floats the sheets. Still feeling a little woozy though.
Ah, but what a voice that man has.

Wednesday, 13 July 2005

Tv dinners by William Brown from Elastic Black Dog

ever been googled?

The words 'lovely' 'Ann' and 'Robinson' are not used frequently in the same sentance on the internet, it seems.
Searnching google for "lovely Ann Robinson", my entry of last week on this very timeslot is first on the results list 'of about 12' adds google, perhaps rather too helpfully.
Searching for "lovely Kylie Minogue" on the other hand produces a veritable 'about 230' exact matches.
"lovely Colin Jones" unfortunately gives the almost unbelievable (and undeniably unjust) 'Did not match any documents'.
Oh my fragile ego.

You are feeling sleepy...

I was not completely surprised to see Paul McKenna restoring the sight of a blind man on TV this week.
There was a wonderful moment though where the man (blind for a number of years) sees his wife for the first time. 'She hasn't been going to the gym has she?' or something similar were his words.
Age indeed does not come alone.

Monday, 11 July 2005

Quiet Afternoon in the office

Reg Hogg the hedgehog was prickly.
On Saturday Reg Hogg was sickly.
On Sunday at nine,
the doctor came by,
and cured Reg hedgehog quite quickly.

Load of bankers

A bank in Wrexam is to be one of the first to abolish counter service.
Apparently there'll be more staff on hand to deal with 'those who are nervous about using the cash machines, or who haven't used them before'.
HSBC, 'the world's local bank' says it will make for a 'better service'. Try telling my mum that.
Ever wonder how the word 'Orwellian' entered the English language?

Wednesday, 6 July 2005

I must do my blog.

Is it me, or does the lovely Ann Robinson look younger every day? Her new TV show is 'What's the problem? With Ann Robinson'. After her famed verbal assault on my fellow countrymen some time ago one can only ask if the question mark is in the right place.

Tuesday, 5 July 2005

Egg on chips

"A man full of bile is not fit to pronounce on food." is today's quote from Egon Ronay, following the frankly unstatesman-like reported comments from French President Jacques Chirac.
Now a lesser man might raise the questionable delicacies of horsemeat or slugs (never could tell slugs from snails), but I would never stoop so low.
God help us all if this sets the tone for the G8 summit this week. Sign here please.

Wednesday, 22 June 2005

distant drums

Credit card in hand, and perched to buy a new drum for my laser printer. £95 plus vat; yup that's what I always pay. Maybe time for new toner too, I muse.
Hang on though, I stutter - aren't those new mono lasers quite cheap? The newer drums must be correspingingly cheaper too, I reason.
Not so, Joe. Here's a sample price from today;
OKI B4100 - 18ppm 8mb Laser Printer - £68.07 plus Vat
Oki Mono Drum for same model - £95.06 plus Vat
Here I should ramble on about 'disposable' printers, like throwing away a new car when the petrol runs out, etc. (Ok, sparkplugs)
Alas I've got work to do, but you get the picture, my hollow friend.

Friday, 17 June 2005

Hello Doctor

Glad to see that a third series of Dr Who has been comissioned. Regardless of who was the best Doctor, this must be the best-written series of Dr Who so far. An extra activity for those of us in Wales (where the series was filmed) is spotting Welsh landmarks pop-up in the most unlikliest places. My favourite is a Cardiff shopping centre frontage in central London.
Oh yes, I new those Daleks weren't finished.

Tuesday, 14 June 2005


The book came yesterday, and it is all it promised and more. This surely is the proverbial oil on the biscuit. My ego would be so proud.

Friday, 10 June 2005

World Folk Tales

Apparently the new book is ready. I say apparently because I haven't seen it yet. Cover artist and genius friend Howard David Johnson has received some copies direct from the printers in the US and seems to be moderately pleased with the results.
'The books are BEAUTIFUL!!!' he emailed. I'll take that as quality control and open the floodgates. Order now and you could get your copy before me.
Moral; Always use an odd number of exclamation marks, preferably a prime number.

Friday, 27 May 2005

for art's sake

How does it all work? Before you know it you're interviewing one of the finest artists in the world for an e-book to be given away with your next 'real' volume. Howard David Johnson is a very fine artist with a gift for inaginary photo-realism. His art adorns the first volume of my World Folk Tales (at the printers as I ramble). His web site is a delight.

Wednesday, 25 May 2005

not long dying

World Folk Tales is the name of the new publishing project so eagerly awaited at this webspot. You can go to now, but you won't see much until the first volume is available. This little mention should start preparing the webcrawlers though.

Monday, 18 April 2005

longtime no blog

Have been extremely busy loafing and putting together a new publishing house lately. Yes, I know you don't believe me. Nobody ever does, you know. They only let me have crayons in here too.
Never mind, all will be reviled here soon.

Thursday, 3 February 2005

The disappearing country

Well, here's a worrying trend. What happens when your country officially ceases to exist? For the second time in three months says the BBC.

Monday, 31 January 2005

I got no strings.

My new wireless broadband from Wanadoo arrived today, and I must say it's revolutionary. I now know how Pinocchio must have felt when he left his strings behind. Nice.

Wednesday, 26 January 2005


Finally finished submitting tax return using the inland revenue's online service. My God it was slow today. No doubt many millions of panic-stricken fools like me were desperate to complete their returns before the financial penalties started. Who knows what the load will be on the site in the next few days.
I don't remember working at the computer quite this late for some time; the last that springs to mind was writing the code for Mel Croucher's unique Deus ex Machina interactive film. The soundtrack of Frankie Howard, Ian Dury and Jon Pertwee echoed around me as I struggled to meet the C64 programming deadline. Happy days.

Monday, 17 January 2005

The Wrong Thing

The questionable act of the 3rd in line to the English throne dressing up as a Nazi has prompted the premature launch of my online journal of the unfortunate, unwise, and just plain stupid. Go to '' to see the first twitches of a handwringing glee.

Wednesday, 12 January 2005

careful with that axe, Eugene

I remember someone telling me about some hypnosis tapes they'd bought. Each had a message printed on them 'do not play while driving'. Call me stupid.
A frozen pizza comes with the message 'filling will be hot when removed from oven' and a candle 'caution; fire may burn'. Everyone, it seems, has to cover themselves against consumer terrorist lawsuit firebomb attacks.
'Look, it's yours now, we've had your money. Be careful, but don't blame us. We are not respinsible. For anything.' would suit me fine.

Monday, 10 January 2005

new life, glowing

Like a warm pasty fresh from the microwave. Feel the pastry warming as the heat slowly reaches out from its molten core like a new life, glowing.
A bit late, but welcome to 2005. Some of us are a bit slow coming round you know.