last days of Dogtown

...while over in the Welsh Quarter old mother Tripod remembers to turn off the gas.
Uncle Vesuvius runs naked through Dogtown Desert, lile a crazed zealot salesmen on 40 percent - Blam! - when an alien saucer of colossal proportions zip-wrecks its way into his lifestyle, and materializes on the very same spot as himself...
...creating a super-intelligent race of time-travelling beergutted undertakers.
The Reincarnation of Spud the Wonderdog barks out from inside an old radio, the troubles of his axed television career behind him, like the faint whiff of lice on Clarity Day.
Because it’s always the last Day in Dogtown for someone…
Richard Stiletto the handicrafts instructor
One two three,
Four five six,
seven eight nine,
Lucky or not, I’m coming.

The Secret

Me, I've been living in a cave for the past 15 years. But just in case you didn't know, 'The Secret' is a life-changing film featuring some of the leaders in the (ahem) 'personal growth industry'.
I've just spent the last hour-and-a-half watching the film online, hunched over my flat-screen monitor. Do I love the film? Oh yes, you bet.
They claim to reveal the secret of life you know. Just in case you hadn't heard, the website is here. And remember where you heard it first.

Earth

Interestingly, one of the great natural features one may discern from the GREAT WALL of China is the moon.
Discuss. You may now turn your papers over: 40 minutes; max.
(Letter from William Brown)

Your Stars

Spandex, the Firestarter
Your bookshelves will be rearranged by an old librarian boyfriend.
Alphabetically, via ISBN.
Watch out for dust in an old raincoat.
Lucky apple - Granny Smith
Lucky profession - Acountancy

Jones the Clone

Do 'virtual' salespeople sell? And if so, can I be one?
Just to prove that anything's possible in Aberarthur after midnight pop along to my delightful www.cadwswn.com for a Jones clone.
Lovely voice, but looks nothing like me.
Oh yes, great Welsh course too.

Doggy-doggy-doo

Fair play to Scooby-Doo. He never knows when to walk on four legs or two, but at least he never disgraces himself in public.

Dydd Gwyl Dewi

Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember that there's an old Welsh saying. It goes something like,
'If it snows on St David's Day the English Queen will come to Wales. She will be tricked into saying the magic word 'Senedd' which will devolve all power back to the land. Tax raising powers, lawmaking japes and even the power to bestow a bank holiday across the country.'
Byddwch lawen.