Hey you

Two books out in a week. Flippin 'eck, now I'm tired.
But enough of me, how are you? Fancy a free ebook? Simply go to www.cleverbeing.com now. Don't run away, it's very good. It's all about getting more out of your day you know.
No, come back...

Invisible backing singers

How could they do this to us? Not only content with producing the worst ever ever Eurovision entry (well since last year's 'UK' entry) Scooch admit to using 'invisible backing singers' on Saturday's night of misery for music lovers everywhere.
"It is difficult to sing while running around doing dance routines," the band's spokesman said. Good lord yes. Now that would take talent.

Salty Nuts

The Irish, of course, take it seriously. Given the chance the Scots, Welsh and Cornish would do so too. There are nations who would kill to be represented on a huge musical stage.
Alas, once again the dodgy Union-Jack branded (ahem) 'UK' (how it hurts me to type those initials) has shown its disdain for all things foreign. Yes it's Eurovision, it's Scooch, and if you ask me if I want your salty nuts down my throat again I'll be sick in your top pocket.
'something to suck on for landing' indeed.

March the second - share tips

Sell all your shares in Welsh Cakes, leeks and lavabread.
CSI Porthcawl starts tonight on UK Welsh. Cedwch eich ffydd.