mild panic

I wondered how I'd describe my life using the new film classification which seems to accompany adverts for new releases. You know the sort of stuff, 'mild violence, frequent sexual references, two kangaroo fetish jokes'.
'Mild panic, (very) infrequent sexual scenes, gratuitous boredom complex' is my first hollow stab at mediocrity.

dead santas

I spotted two dead santas on the school run this morning. There seems to be some sort of defect in these 12-foot inflatable horrors which are dominating the skyline in Cwm Llynfi. Either that or a phantom santa-puncturer is stalking the valley.
It's all too horrible to contemplate.